"We Don't Say Those Words in Class!"

There was only one time that I ever witnessed an adult hush a child when asked about an individual’s disability. I was standing in the checkout line at a grocery store reading one of the magazines that stand on the racks close to the front of the line when I heard the mom in front of me say to her son “ Zac, it’s not nice to point, keep your hand down”. This got my attention and was now curious as to what the boy was reacting to. I lunged forward to put the magazine back down when I heard the mom say a little more sternly to her son now “Zac, I will talk to you about it when we leave. Hush”. As I looked around the little boy to take a glimpse at the individual in front of him, I noticed the woman checking out, on the line in front, only had one arm. I guess the woman heard the boy ask a question to her mom and she turned around. Zac’s mom whispered “I’m sorry”. The woman just smiled and turned back around.

I can see how the mom’s reluctance to speak to her son about what he noticed regarding  the woman in front of him can send him a message of not to notice differences in others and ask questions. It’s important that children know it is OK to ask questions about differences they notice in others because this is how we develop acceptance and politeness. It is especially crucial when children are interacting and learning together in an inclusive classroom As Derman-Sparks and Edwards  (2010, p. 125) “all children-those who are typically developing and children with disabilities- need to be able to ask questions, get accurate information, explore their feelings, and learn positive ways to interact with their peers”. I feel it’s important that children understand how to be polite when asking questions to others with disabilities and not to hurt their feelings. Many people that I have come across with certain disabilities don’t mind sharing information and asking questions about what happened to them and how they get by on a daily basis. Although, I know it can be a sensitive topic to some and they choose not to converse with others. I feel it is important children understand this as well, that some individuals will feel more comfortable than others and not to be discouraged if someone chooses not to answer their questions. If I was in that situation, at the moment I realized the woman heard my son being inquisitive about her one arm, I would have politely asked the woman if my son could ask her a question. I feel the woman would instantly know what kind of question he would be asking. It could be a great learning experience for all. As anti-bias educators we need to support children in “developing cognitive and emotional strategies to know what they want to say and be able to say it” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 127).

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young

          children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.