The Sexualization of Early Childhood

I have believed for a long time now that children are exposed to sex and sexual relationships at too young of an age. I do believe that what children see, read, and hear in media and popular culture has much to do with children’s unhealthy attitudes towards themselves and the symbols they see themselves as. According to Levin and Kilbourne (2009) “children encounter these issues at much younger ages than in the past, long before they have the ability to understand or deal with them.” I feel that the discussions that need to be had with children regarding sex, relationships, and self-image in general is non-existent to where children learn what they carry with them through adulthood from the media. Parents as well as early childhood professionals need to be comfortable and confident in the information they provide children in regards to these issues and what they see on tv or hear in songs because they know it needs to be done in order for healthy development of children. Levin and Kilbourne (2010) state that “as children struggle to understand what they see and hear, they learn lessons that can frighten and confuse them; these lessons can seriously harm their ability to grow up to have healthy attitudes about themselves and their bodies and to have caring relationships in which sex is an important part.” This is why “these days’ children need to also be able to talk with trusted adults about the relationships and sexual images that they see in the media and popular culture” (Levin and Kilbourne, 2009).

“According to the most reliable studies, as many as one in three girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused at some point during their childhood” (Levin and Kilbourne, 2009). I have friends who currently are fostering 4 children and have adopted 1, ranging from ages 1-7. Three out of the five children, boys and girls, have been sexually abused in the previous families. Hearing my friends explain how heart wrenching it is when these young children speak about the abuse they have endured at such a young age brought tears to my eyes and a pain in my heart. These are children no older than 7 years old that have to deal with this kind of abuse and hurt, most likely from individuals that they know. “Almost 90 percent of the time, the abuser is someone known, and often loved and trusted, by the child” (Levin and Kilbourne, 2009). These are alarming numbers, but as Levin and Kilbourne (2009) stated “while child abuse is beyond the scope of the book, the sexualized climate we describe most likely contributes to it”.

It just so happens that I was on the phone last night talking to a friend who is a preschool teacher in another state. She told me an appalling situation that happened at nap time earlier that day in her classroom. My friend had left for the day right after her co-teacher came back from lunch and was not there to witness this in person, although she was called to be informed about it.  Her co-teacher informed her that “joey” pulled down his pants while lying on the cot at nap time. The little girl lying across from him a few feet away noticed this action by “joey” and proceeded to pull her skirt up. The co-teacher said as she was proceeding to approach the situation “joey” got up and started walking over to the little girl, with his pants still pulled down. To not make a big scene at the moment, especially during nap time, she redirected “joey” to the bathroom for that moment. As soon as she told him to go into the bathroom he turned to the little girl and said “come on let’s go into the bathroom”. Her co-teacher said her jaw hit the floor and could not get a word out; she was shocked at what had just happened by two 4 year olds. Not only but a few months ago during summer camp did she talk to me about a little girl in her classroom pulling up her shirt for all the boys outside on the playground. Levine and Kilbourne (2009) state that “a narrow definition of femininity and sexuality encourages girls to focus heavily on appearance and sex appeal”.

It is a shame that young children are growing up way faster than they should be. Children don’t get to be children anymore, playing outside with friends or deciding what dessert they want that night after dinner. Girls are more concerned about what boys think of them and boys and girls are worrying about when they can have a boyfriend/girlfriend instead of concentrating on their school work or just being a child in general. Conversations about sex, relationships, and self-image can be challenging and uncomfortable at times but it needs to be done in order for children to learn the positive lessons that will “shape their gender identity, sexual attitudes, and values, and their capacity for relationships, love and connection, that they take into adulthood” (Levin and Kilbourne, 2009).

References

Levin, D. E., & Kilbourne, J. (2009). [Introduction]. So sexy so soon: The new sexualized

childhood and what parents can do to protect their kids (pp. 1-8). New York: Ballantine Books. Retrieved from: http://dianeelevin.com/sosexysosoon/introduction.pdf