Observing Communication

It just so happens that last weekend I was visiting friends and a question was asked by a little girl that was at their house, and because of the nature of the question I thought it would be perfect for this assignment. The friends that I was visiting were two married men that had just adopted a baby girl. There were a few other friends that I knew and some that I did not, but we were all together to celebrate the new baby. One couple had a 4 year old girl named Ava who loved the baby and wanted to help anyway she could. Well, when it was time to feed baby Grace, one of the dad’s grabbed the bottle and started to give it to her. Without hesitation Ava stood up and said “wait, the mommy’s supposed to feed the baby. Where’s the mommy?” There was a bit of silence for a second, I don’t think the parent’s knew how to respond at that moment. Well one of Grace’s dad’s said to Ava, “Ava, some children don’t have mommies just like some children don’t have daddies; but there are some children that are lucky enough to have two mommies or two daddies”. She responded by saying, “wow they sure are lucky. So that means Grace is very lucky because she has two daddies right?  But I am lucky too because I have a mommy and a daddy right?” Ava’s dad spoke up right away and said, “Yes honey you are very lucky just like Grace. We can talk more at home, OK? Here’s your goldfish, do you want a snack?” You can tell they just wanted to gracefully end the conversation without having it go any further and continue on. 

I really liked how Grace’s dad spoke up since it seemed as if Ava’s parents were at a loss for words. I’ve actually come in contact with many parents that have confessed to me that they do not know how to respond to some of the questions their children ask them, especially when it is aimed toward any type of diversity or difference in race or ethnicity. I feel it is so important to be able to feel comfortable in speaking with your children regarding issues on diversity because they see so much, not just in school but all around them. Without the proper information they come up with their own conclusions or answers to questions they may have, and sometimes this can be harmful. You can tell that Ava was trying to make sense of being told Grace does not have a mommy, although at the end of her statements she kept asking “right?” as if she was trying to get some more information or validation that she was correct in her thinking.

I would have loved to have seen more interaction between Ava and her parents in this situation. I think they were more embarrassed than anything from her comment and didn’t know how to respond without offending anyone. I was interested in how Ava was really comprehending what she was told and what she had seen for the first time and would have been curious to see what she would have said if she was asked more questions on the issue and other questions she would have for the daddies. Dangel and Durden (2010) state that “questions that promotes children’s thinking require children to think beyond one-word responses to make connections, compare, and hypothesize.”  I almost wanted to be a fly on the wall at their home in order to see what the conversation would be like if and when she brought this topic up again at home. The importance in listening to children when they speak is crucial in order to really understand what it is they are saying and what it is they are really trying to get across and comprehend themselves. I liked what Stephenson (2009) said about listening when she spoke about the strategies she used in speaking to children;  she said “listening is paramount” and she found that how she listened governed what she heard. Stephenson (2009) also said that “when I consciously stepped back from the interaction,  from my own expectations of what I might hear, and listened with an attitude of respect, with openness, and in the anticipation that I might hear answers to questions that have not been asked, I was sometimes rewarded with insights”.  I feel that the rewards can be endless when we truly listen and respect what it is children say. Stepping back, as explained by Stephenson (2009) is a great way to “consider conversations from other perspectives, relinquish your own narrow agenda, and allow you to hear other messages”.

References

Rainer Dangel, J., & Durden, T. R. (2010). The nature of teacher talk during small group activities. YC: Young Children, 65(1), 74-81. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=47964033&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=37131016&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Creating Affirming Environments

Being a child care director I have had the opportunity to put together a center but using the materials that were bought for me by my superiors. Not having the chance to purchase the items that I thought were necessary for the classrooms was a disappointment and I knew we were missing some key items. Getting the chance now to think how I would design a Home Center gives me that opportunity to list the items that I knew were missing from my own school’s first purchase. Derman-Sparks and Edwards (2010, p. 43) states “an environment rich in anti-bias materials invites exploration and discovery and supports children’s play and conversations in both emergent and planned activities”. I feel that not only can conversations be built by children between their teachers and other children but also between the children and their parents which is very important as well.

My center will have many areas for exploration and discovery such as a dramatic play/dress up, kitchen, library/quiet area, art/sensory, building/blocks, and a manipulative/puzzle area. I feel many different areas gives children options and a chance to accomplish what it is they want to do at that time. Throughout all of these areas of the center will be pictures of them, whether it be playing and working together with a friend or working alone on a project. My students always love seeing themselves on the walls and always point them out to parents or family when they come into the classroom. Again, this gives the children and families another chance to communicate about school and their achievements. Along with pictures of the students will be pictures of our families so the children can feel the sense of home when at school by seeing their families with them daily. I would have parents bring in pictures of all kinds, not just of family photos but pictures that have meaning in the respect of their culture and items that are important to their family. All children apart of the center them gets the chance to learn about the cultures of their friends and the differences and similarities of us all. “In programs the serve the children whose lives are too often made invisible by the dominant culture (children of color, children from poor families, etc.), plentiful images of themselves, their families, and their communities- in all of their diversity- help to counter the harm of invisibility” (Derman-Sparks and Edwards, 2010, p. 44). I enjoyed the “family share area” that Adriana Castillo (Laureate Education, 2010) incorporated into her home center that allowed families to share with everyone a part of their culture. This also gives the children a confidence seeing a part of their family when they walk into school every day and a chance for them to share with their friends why they are proud of whom they are.   

The materials that occupy these certain areas will show the diversity of our whole school and not just focus on one culture and will have many different themes incorporated based on our themes according to the curriculum. Within all books, dolls, puzzles, clothes, paint colors and paper, food, and learning games all ethnicities will be apparent so no one has the chance to feel invisible. According to Derman-Sparks and Edwards (2010, pg. 44) “one of the best  tools you can have for anti-bias work is a camera, which will permit you to make books, posters, class bulletin boards, and learning materials specific to the families and children in your program”. This also pertains to what I was saying earlier about having pictures up around the classroom for all to enjoy throughout the day. I noticed one of the games that was introduced to us during Adriana’s tour (Laureate Education, 2010) showed individuals of many different ethnicities as well as the puzzle that was on the shelf.

I have come to the realization throughout my years of working with children that it does not become easier watching a crying child separate from their mom or dad in the mornings. I loved Adriana’s idea of the “nap room” which gives the children who are having a hard time saying goodbye in the morning a chance to express their feelings and emotions and get themselves together in a sense in order to learn and grow during the day while at school (Laureate Education, 2010). She provides a comfy couch and pillows along with a song that they sing once they have made it through the second step of trying to calm down. This sounds like it would be a great are for those children that need a few extra minutes to get settled down in the morning before they join the group. I would also love for the parents to join our circle times or any other times throughout the day that they can in order to be a partner in their child’s learning and get to know the other families of other children in order to create a sense of community. “Relationships and interactions with children and families, the visual and material environment, and the daily curriculum all come together to create the anti-bias learning community” (Derman-Sparks and Edwards, 2010, p. 51).

References

Laureate Education, Inc. (2011). Strategies for working with diverse children: Welcome    to an anti-bias learning community. Baltimore, MD: Author

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, D.C.: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).