Thank you & Farewell EDUC 6165

I have learned so much new knowledge about communication and collaboration, not just from this course imparticular but all my previous courses here at Walden as well. Listening to others, gathering new information, and exchanging ideas and thoughts have become a part of my life through the great discussions and blogs I have had a chance to read and respond to. Everyone has been so supportive and helpful in my journey through this course and all that have come before, and I thank you for that. We all have a passion for early childhood or we wouldn’t be here learning and educating ourselves in order to become the great professionals I know all of us strive to be. Many of you I have worked with throughout our core courses and some I have only begun to work with. As we move on to our specializations I hope to continue memorable blogs and discussions where we can continue to bring new ideas, share our opinions, and praise each other for a job well done. I hope some of you have received valuable information and knowledge from me through our exchanges as I have learned so much from all of you. I would love to keep in touch with all of you as we continue our journey in accomplishing our early childhood goals.

I wish everyone a bright and exciting future!

Adjourning

“In the adjourning stage the project is coming to an end and the team members are moving off into different directions” (Abudi, 2010). Saying goodbye to a group of people that you have worked with every day for an extended period of time is always hard. When you have a great relationship with each individual where you respect each other’s ideas, trust their opinions, and help each other to work toward a common goal that final separation is even harder. I feel when you have a group that is strong during the norming stage there is a closer bond in successfully achieving that goal you have worked so hard to accomplish. You can only hope to one day work with those individuals again, maybe not as a whole group but some individuals now and again and keep in touch for future projects and efforts.

I believe that even if your project was unsuccessful it is still important to adjourn and get together to see what the problem might have been. This is a great way to change things maybe for the future so certain mistakes are not made again. Even when unsuccessful you can still have great relationships with team members and have worked very well together. I remember leaving my grade level team when I made a move to a different state. I was there for 2 years with the same group of co-workers and we had great chemistry and worked so well together. We were able to put all of our individual ideas together to come up with amazing lessons for our students. On the last day of working with the group we got together, brought snacks and food and enjoyed each other’s company. Most of the time we talked about different situations, positive and negative, that have come up along the way and what could have been changed to make things run smoother. Endings can be said but the adventure always continues.

I have learned so much from all of the colleagues I have worked with throughout these past months here at Walden. Through our challenges and experiences I feel we have gained so much knowledge about each other and the field of early childhood. Even though we have worked in all different fields of education we all have similar experiences and thoughts to share in certain situations. It’s nice to feel that people support you in your goal and respect your beliefs and ideas.

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from

http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

Conflicts & Non Violent Communication

A supportive climate while being responsive and respectful in my experience has worked to decrease and manage conflicts in my school. Being a Director I am often in a position to mediate between parents, teachers and parents, as well as between children. I always try to be supportive of the teachers and the parents and understand exactly how they are feeling as well as what it is they need and what their expectations are. I feel this helps in all parties so that all feel respected and there is effective communication going on. Most of the time the misunderstanding occurs when the individuals involved do not understand where the other person is coming from and don’t try to put themselves into their shoes. When we can agree that what we all want is a positive outcome, the conflict typically gets resolved and we can all gain a greater understanding of one another.

I am currently not in conflict with anyone but recently had the opportunity to help work through a conflict between two of my teachers. I was approached one day from my teacher Sandy that was upset with her co-teacher Pam who was being very short and abrupt with her for 2 days now and was brushing off a classroom incident that needed to be discussed. It is so important for the students to see their teachers getting along and respecting each other so they can learn the correct way to communicate. When I heard this I knew that these teachers were going to need some guidance to resolve whatever was causing their teaching relationship to go downhill. I had the chance to speak with Pam to see what might be causing this unusual behavior for her and knew that my attentive listening skills would help to understand her feelings and/or concerns. It just so happened that Pam’s husband had just got laid off, her car was in the shop and needed to rely on rides for the past few days, and her son had not been feeling well yesterday and was worried about him. After hearing Pam explain her very stressful start of the week I understood why her behavior and demeanor has been off, but unlike what Sandy thought it had nothing to do with her in general. I explained to Sandy that Pam has had many unfortunate personal circumstances that are causing much stress on her lately, and because Pam does not have a husband or family to take care of she never thought something at home would be wrong but automatically thought it was her. I advised Sandy that when Pam seemed to be overwhelmed during the day to ask her “How can I help you?” Sandy wanted to help in their communication problems lately and wanted to be more supportive of Pam and what she had to deal with in her personal life so when the three of us got together we thought it would be effective for the two of them to have a small meeting in the morning to share each other’s priorities. I had said to Sally to remember not to jump to any negative conclusions right away but to think in a positive perspective and try to sit back and understand what may be causing any off behaviors in her co-teacher. There always needs to be a mutual understanding in the classroom between teachers in order to be productive and respected.

I had followed up with them a few days after our discussion and they were on their way to working out any issues in the classroom between themselves always searching for a mutual agreement where both of them are happy with the outcome. My co-workers have learned to be mindful and respectful of others and try not to jump to conclusions without getting all the information first. My teachers know that effective communication is important in the classroom and important to demonstrate for their students. I can only see that bringing in more of the NVC fundamentals and the 3R’s perspective on communication can only help our school become a strong, caring, and respected community of educational professionals.

“Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC fosters respect, attentiveness and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart” (www.cncv.org).

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication.      

 Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

Evaluations as a Communicator

One of the differences that surprised me the most regarding the communication evaluations was that they perceived me to be more confident in myself than I actually did. The one thing that I try to work on every day in my life is gaining more self-confidence which leads to confidence in all other aspects of my life. When speaking about a topic that I am very passionate about of course I am going to have more confidence in what I say and how I present myself. Although, there will always be a part inside of me that doubts what I say and hopes that the other person can follow what it is I am saying without confusion and disarray. One of the individuals that I had fill out the evaluations was one of my staff members from my school. I thought it would be interesting to see how she felt about my communication skills since she sees them in action on a daily basis and of course when conducting staff meetings. I guess on the outside I have a tendency to come across cool and collected when speaking to staff one on one and as a small group during meetings. Since I have been working with my staff for some time I am more comfortable speaking in front of them but the uneasiness still lingers now and again. In essence the fact that I come across as more confident to others is a good thing, but the fact that I don’t have the same confidence in myself could present itself as a challenge in my continuing communication skills.

I believe I had posted before about technology taking over much of our communication during the day, whether it is through texts, emails, Facebook, tweets, instagram etc. “In blogs, in chat rooms, and on dating and social networking sites, the presentation of self can be more controlled than in face-to-face encounters (O’Hair & Wieman, 2012, pg. 58). I feel this can be harmful when you are truly faced with a conversation with someone on the other side of a computer or phone screen. Yes this can give you practice when it comes to communicating with someone but speaking face to face is different than speaking to someone over the computer. “Sherry Turkle, a technology researcher, notes that the online environment offers young people a virtual “identity workshop” where they can try on different identities with little risk (O’Hair & Wieman, 2012, pg. 60). I feel it is important that children today learn the importance and effective skills for communicating with individuals in person.

Self-monitoring is a phrase that I have heard throughout my courses here at Walden and is important when continuing your journey in the early childhood field in order to keep improving. O’Hair and Wieman (2012) have shown me the difference between high-self monitoring individuals and low-self monitoring individuals. I never knew there were two different types of people when self-monitoring. “Communicating successfully involves finding the appropriate level of self-monitoring for the situation and the people involved” (O’Hair & Wieman, 2012, pg. 56).

 O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Communicating Effectively

I have come to realize that I do speak to individuals differently depending on if they are good friends or family, people I work with or people that are from different cultures that I am not familiar with. When communicating with friends and family I am very comfortable and knowledgeable about certain topics and situations that are going on in their lives. When knowing this you are able to give more advice, know when they want your opinion and know just when to listen to what they are saying. I feel that is also how I speak to my staff members because we do have close relationships.  Sometimes when I am around co-workers or especially a boss my comfort level decreases and I tend to be a little more anxious. With this I have a tendency to be less talkative and don’t often give my opinion. If I am speaking with individuals that are from a different culture and I am unfamiliar with their traditions and beliefs I do a lot of listening to become more knowledgeable but also I have a tendency to speak slower because I want them to understand what I was saying. I could probably also say that I speak slower to elderly individuals as well as a little louder to make sure they could hear me.

I do believe that one strategy that is always effective in communication is listening. Listening to someone really shows your genuine concern and care for what they are saying. This is also important for you to receive the correct information in order to help them effectively.

Even though I say listening is a great communication skill to have, there are times when I am speaking to my friends and family or even my staff members and I have a hard time stopping myself from talking and giving them a chance to speak. This happens for me when I am speaking about something that I am passionate about, and usually teaching and children is a topic I can’t stop talking about.  So I would say that my second strategy would be let other individuals speak and have their chance to get in on the conversation and share their thoughts and opinions.

A third strategy that I believe is important is be cautious of non-verbal cues. Much of a conversation is made up of non-verbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, hand gesture, and even tone of voice. I have been told that I make certain facial expressions when speaking that I myself don’t even realize half the time. I need to be more aware of this because it could give off the wrong message as to how I feel about a certain topic. It is also important to be aware of non-verbal cues when speaking to individuals of other cultures. “Nonverbal communication is highly influenced by culture, and what mya be an innocent gesture in one group, context, region, or county can convey a different and possibly offensive message elsewhere” (O’Hair & Wieman, 2012).Comm

 O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Communication Assumptions

This assignment was harder than I had first anticipated. Not having sound and actually hearing what the actors were saying was difficult to follow the story line and understand the plot of the show. I picked a T.V. show that I have heard of but was never keen on watching. Not knowing what the show was even about made it even more of a struggle to know what was going on. In one scene of the show I picked up on many facial expressions of the man, which I took to be of worry, when speaking to what I thought was his daughter. I also assumed that they were speaking about a boy she might be involved with by the look on her face and the smile she wore when speaking. A lady walked into the conversation and put a hand on her shoulder while giving her a big smile. This made me think it may be either her mother or grandmother; it was actually hard to tell. When I did get to hear this part of the show with sound, I was right about it being a father daughter relationship, but when I thought they were speaking about a possible boyfriend they were actually talking about a secret admirer she had. Those facial expressions I noticed in the father were more of a criticism tone than worry which is what I had originally assumed. Also with the sound I was corrected when realizing the lady in the scene was the grandmother and not the mother.

In another scene I made sense of the father being a detective and walking to a crime scene with his partner. When they were standing over the scene the look in the father’s eyes and the stare in his face when seeing the body made me think he had known this woman. When watching with the sound I came to realize that the father had an epiphany when seeing the girl thinking it could be the work of a killer that he came in contact with on another case four years ago. I was wrong about him knowing the girl and this assumption put the whole series going in a different direction for me when watching without the sound.

Not being able to listen to what the individuals were actually saying in the T.V. series I watched made it very difficult for me to follow what I was watching and the relationships in the show. I didn't think this would be so challenging for me until I actually had to accomplish the task. I do think that my assumptions would have been more on target watching a show I knew very well. I would have already known the relationships of the actors which I think would have put me a step ahead anyway. Knowing what the show was about and the overall demeanor of the actors would also allow me to become more familiar with the conversations had between characters. 

Demonstrating Competent Communication Skills

The person that I chose for this assignment was my educational trainer who taught me everything I know about being a director. She had amazing communication skills and always knew the correct words to use in order for you to really understand what she was saying. She always had strong eye contact and was confident in the way she spoke and with the information she was relaying to you. You could tell this confidence just by the way she stood in front of you or how she sat in her chair. She was very logical and approachable, and you knew you would be receiving the correct answers and if she didn't have the answers she would try her hardest to obtain them for you and then some. Listening was one of her finest traits and I strive to have that quality within myself.

I work every day to build myself up to the communicator that my educational trainer is. I still communicate with her today if I need some pointers, tips, or just someone to listen to me rant. There are times when I still struggle in getting my entire point across the way I want, but I work on it every chance I get. Having the opportunity to have worked with my trainer has given me the confidence to work toward being a better communicator, especially with my staff and parents.